Dark Phase of the Moon

Right now is the lowest moment in my life. Maybe it’s just a phase, and I guess in life, it’s only natural. But it doesn’t change the fact that I feel devastated, and there’s nobody to blame, not even God, cos I do realize it’s a phase.
I just wish that this dark phase will soon be over. That it finally lifted, brighter. That all these tears, and heart shattered finally found it means. That the struggles would finally be worth it. That I have all it takes to finally progressing.
I can’t even put in words of how I feel, since the pain collide side by side with realization, though I still can’t say I’m already at acceptance. No, every second could torture, though the next, the tears are forgotten.
Every bumps, and ripped apart, and those silent screams exchanges too soon with enlightenment til I sometimes think I’m on denial.
I don’t even have the power to deny, as my energy had drained, and my brain could only limited to think of what’s next to do, since standing still had no longer be an option. It would be too costly to do so, while the struggle is real.
I wanted to ask why, and complain to God, which I had, for far too many. But still, the test is not done yet, I can feel it.
I never asked to be strong, well.. maybe I had recklessly and unintentionally did, but what did I know?
The more realization I’ve acknowledged, the more I know nothing. And in this nothingness now is where I stand, to learn to be able to at least find at ease…
Gosh.. wake me up from this dark road faster please.. I don’t want to loose hope, I don’t want to loose me… which it seems start to feel like it..


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