Yes I do have a choice whether to trust my husband or not.
Let’s see the impact of each choice now.
If I choose not to trust him, I would :
- Be suspicious anytime he went out our door. Whether he’s out for work, or getting the laundry, or buying food. Anywhere. Whenever I cannot see his nose right in front of me, I would feel that he would do something fishy behind my back.
- Play detective on him. I would check on his phone, his wallet, his pants, his pockets, his bags or anything that I could check up on to get that ‘evidence’ out, to which I would do secretly since I don’t want him to get clever if he knows.
- Investigate him endlessly. Here by means I have to play “good cop bad cop” on him all at once and creating an endless tricky questions, hoping he’ll be trapped to confess, if any.
- Make the ‘face’. Every time he walks in I would surely let him know that I am hurt, even without words. I would make him notice that “I know you’re gonna hurt me, hit it already!” by the look of my sour face.
- Gather all the broken pieces he made, or if by chance he would break, and be left feeling miserable most of the time.
- Be awkward anytime he’s near. Kinda hard to keep up in between the love and hate relationship all the time, isn’t it?
- Sink in a hell house. Our house would definitely a horror for us to live in. Yea, how could a cop and a thief living in one roof without trying to get on each others’ neck?
Imagine how HARD that kind of life I have to go through each day if I don’t trust him? So much endless work to do, much isolation, life threatening episodes, no security, no guarantee, and not to mention the rapid growth of my skin wrinkles after so many sobs and pouts I have to make each day. NOT PRETTY.
Ok now, how ‘bout the second option?
If I choose to trust him, then I would :
- Believe him. Here by means I believe he would fully aware that this husband and wife bond is not just by the ring on our finger, but more likely by each others’ oath to stay true to each other. It’s the dignity to stay committed no matter what. No one so dignified would screw up that easy, right?
- Carefree. Ah, isn’t it beautiful that word is? Care-free. This is what all humans are looking for! To have the freedom not to care!
- Live easy. No creating endless questions, or spiraling in suspicions. No homework to do. Who loves homework anyways?
- Smile all the time. Of course this happens when you trust someone. Every time you see that person you trust in front of you, the feeling of security and comfort is all you get. Who wouldn’t smile for that?
- Feel wonderful. See that glow? Yes, that’s how wonderful the wonderful feeling is! Everything even feels lighter when I feel wonderful.
- Be grateful anytime he’s around. Well, I love him, of course it feels great when he’s around.
- As if living in heaven. Again, we all know the feeling when we love somebody, right? Guess what, that somebody I love lives with me! I get to meet him everyday! 24/7! Well, it’s heaven indeed.
- Have no worry. Am I sure I like to feel worry all the time? When I’m worried my head doesn’t stop chirping it makes me dizzy. When I’m worried it’s hard for me to sleep. When I’m worried my energy is already flushed to even do another useful things. When I’m worried it’s harder to move. When I’m worried I get so mellow as if it’s the end of the world every day. Geez, so much for being worry. NO thanks.
- Tone down the unnecessary wrinkles. This is the best part! I can imagine that there’s only those happy wrinkles leaving marks on my skin when I gets old. That’s a real proof of how I had spent my life.
Pheeww..OK, I think I can see clear enough which one to choose now. And if ever my husband broke my trust, then it’ll be HIS LOST anyways. Cos I know, I won’t leave unless I’m ‘forced’ to do so.
Ok my love, I trust you 😉